


Someone You Loved

by louisethatcher5



Series: Jaya One Shots [3]
Category: Lego Ninjago
Genre: Drama, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-13 06:21:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29397585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/louisethatcher5/pseuds/louisethatcher5
Summary: Jay is feeling the pressure after Cole backed out of the fight over Nya. But he still can't stop thinking about what happens. It becomes too much for him when Nya comes to check if he's alright but the only thing he can do is breakdown.
Relationships: Nya/Jay Walker
Series: Jaya One Shots [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2157780
Comments: 2
Kudos: 10





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is set after s4

Jay lay on his bed. Whilst all his other teammates and friends were having the time of their lives in the main room, he was on his own, laying on his bed, feeling pretty down.

The team were celebrating their victory at the Tournament of Elements. They had stopped the anacondrai and both Chen and Clouse, so what did he have to be upset about?

Things were going so much better between him and Cole now. They hadn't argued in what felt like forever. It was actually quite calming. Yet.. he still felt like something was off.

During their fight, Cole had said he would've taken it all back if he knew it would destroy their friendship. And Jay felt relieved about that. He finally got his best friend back. But something else was bothering him...

Cole had also told him _"She's yours, Jay. I should've bowed out long ago."_ But what exactly did he mean by that? Was he talking about the tournament or... maybe he was talking about something more personal?

Maybe he was talking about... Nya?

It would make more sense but then again, Jay didn't want to take any chances. He didn't want to assume. He didn't want to cause any more of a problem.

Besides, what use was there anyway? Cole may have backed out, but that didn't automatically mean he'd get to be with Nya.

He wanted to be with her fair and square. He wanted her to like him for _him_ , not by process of elimination. He didn't want to spend the rest of his life worrying if Nya still had some sort of feelings for his best friend. It would never leave his mind.

That's if Nya was still even interested in him because lately, it didn't really seem like it. He still cared about her. He still loved her so, so much but to know that she probably would never feel the same way broke his heart. It made him sink deeper and deeper into his pit of despair, wondering if she'd ever love him back.

It was obvious that she didn't want anything to do with him. It was obvious that she had moved on and only had eyes for Cole. It was evident when she suddenly took a liking to him and decided that her current boyfriend wasn't good enough. It was evident when she spent more time with him and stood by him more often. The look in her eyes told Jay that she wasn't even the slightest bit interested in her ex.

They hadn't even spoken about it properly. Nya hadn't even bothered to speak to him when she began having feelings for Cole. She didn't even have the guts to talk to him about it afterwards, just that she would _choose between them_. That wasn't fair. Not even the slightest. Jay had spent so much of his time focusing on her and putting _her_ needs before his own but only to be crushed by the weight of her crushing on someone else.

When Nya had said they were 'both acting like fools' that day when Jay pounced on Cole at the scrap yard, he had never been more humiliated. Not only had his _ex_ called him a _'fool'_ for _overreacting_ but had also practically blamed it all on him. He wasn't overreacting; at least not in his eyes. His _best friend_ had gone behind his back with his girlfriend and not to mention Nya was going to keep it a secret. And who knows how long it would've gone on for? Neither one of them had the guts to say anything to him. They wanted to keep them in the dark about their secret feelings towards each other. _That_ was humiliating.

That day, no one stuck up for him. No one asked him if he was okay. No one even bothered to help. They all made fun of him and blamed him for something that wasn't even his fault. He had every right to _overreact_. He had every right to be _upset_. He had every right to be _angry_. Everyone had asked Nya if she was okay, even the media, after the two boys had fought. But she had caused all of it and didn't even apologise.

Yet he still found himself falling for her, just like he did when they first met. Except now, he was crushing harder. Now that she was completely out of his reach, he was more desperate to be with her. He just wanted her. He wanted to feel complete again. He wanted to hold her in his arms. But he couldn't. Instead, she was still making goo-goo eyes at the master of earth and Cole wasn't even interested anymore. She was blatantly ignoring the one guy that loved her for her and just pushing him further and further away.

 _That_ was why he was laying on his bed whilst everyone else was having the time of their lives. He needed time to think. He needed time to reflect. He needed time for himself. Everything at the tournament had really gotten to him and he just needed a break from it all. He needed a break from _Nya_.

His head was jumbled, his heart was racing, his muscles ached. He didn't know what to do other than break down. He just wanted to disappear. He wanted the ground to open up and swallow him whole. It wasn't like anyone would notice he was missing anyway.

"Jay?"

Jay sat up on his bed and turned his head to the door, drying the tears that were on his cheeks, hoping that whoever it was had a good reason to interrupt his private crying session.

"Are you okay?"

And just to his luck, at the door was the one person he was trying to avoid, _Nya_. The one person who had taken his heart, ripped it up and thrown it right back at his face was stood in his doorway, wearing the exact same dress she had worn on their first date. It's like the universe was deliberately trying to torture him.

"Mhm," was all he managed to say.

What _could_ he say? What _was_ there to say? He loved Nya with everything he had but sometimes he just _hated_ the fact that she broke him and he didn't know how to deal with it. She was the last person he wanted to be around right now but it seemed like fate had a different idea.

"Are you sure? You were crying," She seemed concerned.

Now he was even more confused than ever. She actually sounded like she cared for once. After all those times where she had given him dirty looks just for being in the same room as her, she was now... showing some sort of sympathy? Or maybe it was a mind trick?

"I'm fine," Jay stated awkwardly, looking down at the floor.

"Everyone is asking where you are," She spoke quietly after a second, "I wondered too so... I decided to come and check on you. Why aren't you out there?"

She had to be lying. Nobody was asking where he was. If they actually cared, they would have come looking for him, just like Nya did. But there it goes again, his mind playing tricks on him. Nya didn't _actually_ care, she just wanted to seem nice. She wanted to reel him in just to throw him under the bus again. He knew exactly how it went and he was sick of it.

"Jay?" She frowned, "I really don't think you're okay..."

Her voice wouldn't stop playing in his mind.

_'Jay, if anything horrible were to happen...'_

He needed it to go away. He needed it to leave his mind. He needed it to be erased from his memory completely.

_'I want you to know that you don't have to wear cologne or pretend to be anything that you're not...'_

It was becoming too much for him. He just wanted to forget that any of it ever happened. He wanted to go back in time to before he became a ninja; to before he ever met Nya. He just wanted all this pain and confusion to go away. He regretted ever following Wu to the stupid Monastery and meeting Cole and Zane. He regretted every training session and all those times where he crushed on Nya and made it so, _so_ obvious. He regretted that stupid, _stupid_ date. He regretted his entire existence.

_'Because...'_

"No," Jay placed his head in his hands, completely forgetting the fact that Nya was stood there.

"Jay?" Nya frowned, taking a step towards him, worry in her voice.

"No, just please stop," Jay cried, "Make it go away!"

Nya became more worried with every second. Jay was stressed and panicked and she'd never seen it before. She didn't want to see this side of him. It was scary...

_'...I like you best when you're you.'_

"NO YOU DON'T," Jay screamed, clutching onto his hair tight, tears forming in his eyes and pouring down his face like a broken water fountain.

"Jay?!" Nya kneeled down in front of the bed, concern on her face, her heart racing from the sheer panic they were both going through.

Jay couldn't take the lies anymore. He couldn't take the hurt and the pressure. He needed to get rid of it all but he had no idea how.

Maybe all this time she had just felt bad for him. Maybe that was why she even liked him in the first place. She thought he was some desperate little kid that wouldn't leave her alone unless he got his way. That was the real reason why she even agreed to go on that stupid date. It had all been some silly little mistake that tore them both apart.

It wasn't Nya's fault.

It was _Jay's_.

"Hey, Jay," Nya tried to catch his attention, "Look at me."

When Nya had mentioned those 'boundaries' at Wu's Academy, she didn't mean just around the students; she meant in general. She was tired of their relationship and needed a break from her needy, annoying boyfriend. It all made sense now. How could he not have seen it before? It was so obvious.

"Jay?" Nya spoke softly, taking hold of his hand.

As soon as he realised what she was doing, he ripped his hand away and turned his back to her, facing the wall next to his bed. The tears just wouldn't stop coming. His heart wouldn't stop racing. He so badly wanted to get out of there and run as far as he could but his legs just weren't responding. It's like they were glued to the bed.

"Please, just talk to me," She sat on the edge of the bed, still trying to comfort him.

_'She still talks about you...'_

Yeah, Lloyd was right. She may have still spoken about him but he never guaranteed it was anything good. She probably told Wu and Lloyd _all_ about how frustrating he was to be around. She probably would've told the whole of Ninjago what an awful person he was if she had gotten the chance.

But he still loved her.

After everything she had done to him, he _still loved her._

"Jay," Nya gently placed a hand on his shoulder, snapping him back to reality.

"Stop acting like you care," Jay muttered.

"What? Why would I be acting?" Nya frowned, "Of course I care about you, Jay, I-"

"Don't lie to me," He tried his best to stop himself from crying more but it just wasn't working. He just wanted to give up on everything.

"I'm not lying," She told him, "Jay, you're my friend, it's my job to care."

Friend.

She had just called him her _friend._

Of all the things she could have said, it had to be _that._

He didn't know what to do anymore. He'd lost her for good. He'd lost the love of his life because of this stupid love triangle that he'd caused. It was all his fault.

"I'm s-sorry," Jay cried, placing his head in his hands again.

"Hey," Nya spoke softly, wrapping an arm around him and bringing him into a hug.

He didn't pull away. He didn't react. He let her hug him. It was probably the last before things were really over. But right now, he had no control over his body. He had no control over his own mind. He needed someone there for him and if that had to be Nya, then it would be. He just didn't want to be alone.

"Why are you sorry?" She asked him calmly, rubbing gently circles on his back to try and calm him down.

"F-For ruining everything," He stuttered.

Nya frowned, "You haven't ruined _anything_. Jay, if anything, you've been able to fix things. I don't know what you're going through right now, but whatever it is, I know you'll get through it. You're one of the strongest people I know, and I'm not talking _physically_. I know it may seem like everything is falling apart right now, but it's not. You can get through it and I'll help you no matter what."

No matter how badly he wanted to tell her _everything_ , he couldn't. And, yeah, she may not have known anything that was going on, or why he was literally having a breakdown in front of her, but she was still there for him. She supported him.

She _actually_ cared.

And it made him realise... maybe there was still hope. Maybe he didn't need to give up just yet. And she was right; everything _was_ falling apart but it would get better in the end. He and Nya were still friends and at least he had that. There was still plenty of time for things to get better between them so he didn't need to give up just yet.

It wouldn't be easy, especially with the voices in his head telling him anything but what he needed to hear, but at least he had friends there for him.

When he finally managed to calm down, she pulled away from the hug and looked him in the eyes with a smile of reassurance, "You don't have to tell me anything, but if you ever do want to, I'll always be here to listen, I promise."

He nodded, giving her some sort of smile back to thank her.

"Why don't you take a moment to collect yourself and calm down a little and then head to the main room? Everyone would love to see you," She wondered.

He nodded again, taking a deep breath and drying his tears.

She gave him one last smile, got off the bed and left the room, closing the door quietly behind her.

As soon as she left, he sighed and thought to himself, what if what she said was true? What if she really was there for him?

But right now, he refused to listen to what his mind was telling him, and listened to his heart instead. And his heart was telling him to go back to the party and forget about all his pain and suffering. He needed to have some fun with his friends for once.


	2. Someone You Loved (pt 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As soon as everyone has gone home and gone to bed, Nya takes some time to reflect on what had happened earlier between her and Jay. She decides to confront him about it but it doesn't go exactly how she thought it would.

The team had been partying for a solid 3 hours and now that it was getting late and everyone was beginning to get tired, everyone headed home. The ninja remained on the Bounty, obviously, but were a lot quieter than usual. But that was probably because only _one_ person in particular was quieter.

Nya had kept an eye on Jay all night after what had happened in his room earlier on in the night. It wasn't normal. It wasn't _him_. And she was really worried.

What had happened?

She really cared about Jay and she didn't want to see him like... _that_. It was the last thing she wanted. And as much as she knew he didn't want to talk about it, she needed him to, because if he didn't then who knows what would happen next time. If Nya hadn't walked into Jay's room when she did, things could've been a lot worse.

She couldn't shake it off her mind. It was all she thought about for the rest of the night. She watched as he spoke to his friends, especially Cole, and how he pretended to enjoy the conversations and laugh along with the jokes but deep down inside she knew he still wasn't okay. She could see the pain and hurt in his eyes. But why? He seemed okay yesterday. Why did he change all of a sudden?

"Night sis," Kai called out to his sister, distracting her from her thoughts.

Nya glanced up from where she was staring down at the table and gave her brother a smile.

"Goodnight Kai."

She watched as Kai left the room and then peered around her, spotting that she was the only one in the room now. That just left her with more time to think.

Why was Jay so upset?

Was it the stress of the tournament?

But what didn't make sense the most was the fact that he had been shouting, trying to get someone or something away from him. It definitely wasn't Nya. At least it didn't seem like it. It was like she was talking to someone; someone inside his head.

_"NO YOU DON'T"_

That was what he had screamed... That was what she couldn't get out of her head. What was he talking about? Who was he talking to?

She needed answers and the only way she would get them was by asking Jay. She really didn't want to but there was no other choice.

Hurting his feelings was the last thing she wanted to do. Her feelings towards Jay were complicated. One minute she hated him and the next she loved him to death.

Yes, she _so_ _badly_ wanted to be with him again, but after everything that had happened and all the pain that she had caused him, why would he even want to be with her? She just felt as if he hated her for what happened. She went behind his back with his _best friend_ and didn't even bother talking to him about it. It was obvious that Jay was trying to avoid her and that was why she couldn't choose him. But she couldn't choose Cole either.

Cole was a great guy, yes, but he was nothing compared to Jay and she was an idiot to not even realise it. He was too serious whereas Jay could always lighten the mood. Jay was adorable and he always put her before himself. He was perfect. How could she even think of having eyes for someone else? And his _best friend_ of all people.

She had split the two apart, ruined their entire friendship, because of some stupid mistake that she regretted almost instantly.

And to make matters worse, she had completely turned her back on Jay. She kept him in the dark. She didn't even bother telling him why she had began crushing on someone else. He must have felt _awful_ and that was why he was avoiding her.

But just to her luck, Jay wandered into the room, instantly looking awkward as he spotted who was sat there in front of him.

"Hey," She spoke up with a smile.

"Hey..." He replied quietly, making his way to the kitchen.

How would she start this conversation? What would she say if he wasn't okay?

Jay opened the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water out of it. He sighed and closed the door, turning back to walk away.

"Jay," She tried to catch his attention, "Can we talk?"

He glanced up at her, a look of despair in his eyes. Talking to her was the last thing he wanted to do right now. He just wanted to be alone.

"Please?" She added, a worried tone of voice.

Jay sighed again and nodded, sitting down on the opposite side of the table.

"What do you wanna talk about?" He asked nervously, staring down at his hands after placing the cold bottle down on the table.

She took a deep breath before replying, "About what happened earlier."

Jay sunk down in his chair, making it obvious to Nya that he really didn't want to be there. She really didn't want to have this conversation either but she was just so worried about him that it _needed_ to happen. He wasn't himself.

"What was going on?" She wondered, sitting up.

Jay sat there in silence for a moment before shrugging.

This was going to be harder than she thought.

"Jay, you've been acting really weird lately..." She sighed, "I'm really worried."

Jay sighed, "Like I said earlier, you don't have to pretend to care."

"I'm not pretending, Jay, I already told you. I just want to know if you're okay," She responded sharply.

"Do I look okay to you?" He snapped, "It's not any of your business anyway. Just leave me alone."

Jay quickly got up from the seat, grabbed his water bottle and stormed out of the room, leaving Nya sat there shell shocked.

He had _never_ spoken to her like that before. She never thought she would have to see that side of him; let alone there be an angry side to Jay. I mean, sure she had seen Jay angry before, but this was different...

Jay was always so kind towards her, even when they weren't together. She never thought in a million years that he would take that tone with her. Jay was one of the most caring people she knew and she really didn't think he would talk to someone like that _ever_ so for him to speak to anyone like it meant something was _really_ wrong. It was worse than she thought.

It was like Jay was possessed. It was like someone had taken him, ripped him up, and thrown him off a cliff, letting his whole life crumble before him.

The smiley, energetic, jokester was now a depressed, damaged, little boy and she didn't know what to do.

He didn't want help. But he needed it.

Nya got up from the table and walked down the corridor quietly, trying not to make any sudden noises. For a moment, she thought he floorboards were creaking but then when she stopped, she realised it wasn't that but it was... _crying._

And as she got further and further down the corridor and stood outside Jay's bedroom, she realised it was _him_ that was crying. But it wasn't just faint, random crying but more of the painful, heartbreaking crying that she hated to hear so badly.

He wasn't okay. He was a wreck.

She knocked on the door quietly, trying not to startle him. She knew he was going to give her backlash and she was prepared for it. There was no running away from this situation anymore. She needed to help him whether he refused or not.

"Go away," He called from inside the room.

"Jay, you can't get rid of me that easily, please just let me talk to you," She told him, a little frustrated.

"Just go away, please, just leave me alone," He cried.

Her heart broke with every cry she heard. She loved him. She loved him so much and seeing him hurt broke her down to pieces.

"I'm not leaving until you let me come in," She replied, "You need someone there for you right now and I don't care if you hate me or not, just please let me be that person."

The room suddenly went silent, which only made her more worried. What was going on in there? Why did everything go so quiet?

"Jay?" She frowned, trying to open the door but only to find it had been locked on the inside.

She sighed, and turned her back to the door, sliding down to the floor. He was giving her the silent treatment but not because he was upset with her, but because he was upset with himself. All he wanted was to be alone and if Nya couldn't help him from inside the room, then she would provide comfort from outside of it.

"I won't come in," She sighed, "I'll stay out here, okay?"

She was scared of him not being okay in there. She was terrified that he'd do something stupid but she trusted him enough not to.

"You don't have to talk about what's wrong, I just need you to know that you aren't alone. And even though it may not seem like it, because I've been a complete jerk to you, but I'll always be here for you," She explained softly.

She waited a few moments, realising she was probably just talking to herself. She wanted to bust into the room to make sure he was okay but a small part of her was telling her to wait. And waiting did pay off in the end.

"Y-you haven't.. been a jerk," A voice spoke quietly from the other side of the door.

Nya felt a sense of relief as she heard his voice. It may have been quiet and rough, but at least it was _something_. And that was all she needed.

"How haven't I been a jerk?" She frowned.

"I dunno... I just..." Jay sighed.

She paused and thought for a moment. She really didn't want to have to bring this up but she had no choice.

"After everything I did to you with... the love triangle and not even speaking to you about it, I-" She began.

"What?" Jay questioned, "No... none of that makes you a jerk."

"What are you talking about? Of course it does. I caused it all. I literally went behind your back, Jay. I didn't even talk to you about it and called you a fool for reacting the way you did. When you had _every right_ to act that way," Nya explained, a confused tone of voice.

"No, Nya, you've got it all wrong," He stopped her, " _I_ caused it all. It was _my_ stupid clingy attitude towards you that made you want to like Cole. You never even wanted to be with me in the first place and I forced you to and-"

"Jay, who the heck told you that?!" She exclaimed.

She couldn't believe what her hears were telling her. There was no way that Jay was actually blaming _himself_ for what happened. None of it was his fault.

"I dunno..." He became quiet again, "Myself..."

"Jay... was that what you were thinking about earlier?" She asked nervously, really wishing it wasn't true.

The whole place went silent again, the only thing she could hear was her own breathing. The silence made it obvious what the answer was and it only made her feel worse.

"Jay..." She sighed, placing her head in her hands.

This was all her fault. She had done this to him. _That_ was why he was avoiding her.

He was blaming himself for everything that happened and it only made her realise how ridiculous and unfair she had been. She so badly wanted to turn back the clock and make everything right but she couldn't. Now she had to face the consequences of her actions. She'd hurt the person she loved the most. That was the very last thing she wanted.

"I'm so sorry," She told him, tears building up in her eyes.

"I thought you blamed it all on me and hated me because you kept avoiding me and giving me horrible looks and pushing me around and-" He stopped, instantly bursting into tears again, "I thought you hated me and was only faking our relationship because you felt bad for me."

"No, Jay, no, of course not!" She exclaimed, tears falling down her cheeks.

What had she done?

It all made sense now. All of it. Jay wasn't telling the voices in his head to go away; he was telling the memories to go away.

_"NO YOU DON'T"_

It was so obvious. He was thinking about their first date. She was wearing the same dress and everything.

_'I like you best when you're you'_

_That_ was what he was thinking about. How could she have been so insensitive? How could she have been so blind?

But now it had only just dawned on her... he had said _'no you don't'_. He really didn't think she cared. He thought she _never_ cared. But when, in reality, all she ever did was care but so was just so bad at showing it. And those terrible abilities had caused Jay so much pain and suffering. Her turning up in his room earlier had only made things worse for him.

"I wasn't avoiding you, I thought _you_ were avoiding _me_ because of what I did. The last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt you Jay, and I so badly wanted to apologise and talk to you about it but I didn't want to make things worse, but turns out I already did..." She sighed, drying her tears, "I have no excuse for what I did and it was wrong in so many ways. And I regret every second of it. Don't tell Cole I said this but... to be honest, there was nothing going on between us anyway. It was all just some stupid, _stupid_ mistake and I never should have let you go.

"I'm sorry Nya," Jay cried.

"You have no reason to be sorry," She responded, getting up off the floor and putting her hand on the door.

Suddenly, the door opened slowly, revealing the master of lightning stood there with red, puffy eyes and tears all over his cheeks.

Her heart sank as soon as she saw him. He was such a mess and it had all been her fault. But at least they had spoken about it and maybe things would be okay now. They could try and fix things between them.

Nya gave him a reassuring smile and pulled him into a hug, holding onto him like it was the last time. He hugged back, clinging onto her shirt and continuing to cry into her shoulder, feeling like the world had completely stopped around them.

He felt so much better now that everything was out in the open and to know that it wasn't all his fault made it feel like a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders.

"I love you Jay," Nya hugged him tighter.

And even though Jay wasn't quite ready to say it back yet, she still knew he loved her back. She knew it since the first day they met. But all she needed right now was him and that was exactly what she had.

She couldn't be more grateful.


End file.
